come full circle
November 11, 2008 § Leave a comment
i have come full circle. a sense of completion. a dance in the middle of an empty room.
life is good. not perfect but incredibly, unbelievably good. there was so much negativity surrounding me this summer. so many people’s desire to ‘put me in place’. all the classism and racism and sexism that some folks want to use as weapons to beat me down. but now. the heart is bursting full. i closed the book on a few relationships that were toxic. they were primarily with folks who live off other people’s energy rather than generating their own. they are vampires (and not the good kind) who wanted me to be not have a high sense of self because they spend their time comparing themselves to others. they resent me because my heart is capable of boundless joy.
because my life is idyllic and sweet. because my daughter can kick their ass. because my partner thinks that i am the most amazing person he has ever met. because i fight for my right to live my life on my own terms.
i dont have it figured all out. and i dont act like i have it figured all out. but i am not trying to ‘figure it all out’. what i do know is that good karma comes full circle. and when you are having to pay off your bad karma debts dont drag me down in your mire.
and my friends, my girls, my loves, my colleagues, see this heart bursting forth like a sun in the ocean and they know that it is real. not hyperbolic.
and it is a shame that the book had to be closed on our relationships. they could have learned a few things from me. like how to dance. how to sing. how to write a sentence that grabs you by the throat. how to live a life that is relevant.
oh well. goodbye. maybe in your next lifetime you will learn the difference between the image and the real thing. between a surface and the substance.
i dont have it all figured out. but what i do know is that this life is mine. and i am going to live it for all that it is worth. and i dont have time to waste my time trying to figure out the ephemera of your day dreams when my day is filled with so much worth.
so i guess i am busy. writing my book. writing articles. creating an album. learning arabic. and getting ready to set sail for palestine. loving and being loved. life is fucking incredible. and all that anger that was sitting lightly on my bones for a couple of months is gone. thank god i have moved on…karma comes as karma comes. and it comes full circle.