last day in scotland

January 14, 2009 § Leave a comment

all i have been thinking about recently is gaza.  gaza.  gaza.  i know that repetition is the death of good writing.  today i found out that the death toll has crossed the 1000 line.

some days we sat glued to the tv waiting for more news from gaza.  as the days passed the news became less and less.  here in the uk, the fact thtat thre years ago prince harry used a racial epiteth on video is bigger news.  we have determined that the royal family doing inane things is the uk version of the us’s ‘missing white women’ that always become huge news when something important is happening in the world.

the same footage rolls by and it becomes almost a colorful backdrop to paranoia and conversation.  the phosphorous lighting up the night time sky above gaza city.  the wide clouds of smoke lifted into the air like a bed sheet hanging on the clothes line.

theresa is trying to decide if she should go to cyprus or not to hop on the next free gaza boat heading to gaza.  there are delays to the boats departure.  and after the last free gaza boat with mc kinney on it was rammed three times by israeli navy, after the war seems to keep being ratcheted up, the stakes are higher and even more important.

the bedroom that we stole from jim is a mess.  clothes and bags everywhere.  sheets stripped from the bed.  roses dying in a beer bottle.

we spent an entire day watching volume one of heroes.  refused to watch the news.  a fantasy land of violence and moral ambiguity is easier to wrap my head around than the real land that feels so close- we are almost there.

last night aza screamed in her sleep and wouldnt wake up.  so i rocked her against my chest and laid her down. that is all i could do in that moment.  then i went back tothe television set and the images of children the same color as aza but bloodied. turned up the sound.

this is our last night here.

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