May 10, 2009 § 1 Comment

i may just be the first person

in history

to not die alone.

and we dont know


cause im not dead


breaking borders: the kids edition

May 10, 2009 § 2 Comments

Fifth-graders who feel they’ve been mistreated because of their skin color are much more likely than classmates without such feelings to have symptoms of mental disorders, especially depression, a study suggests.

There is evidence that racial discrimination increases the odds that adolescents and adults will develop mental health problems, but this is the first study to examine a possible link in children of varied races, says Tumaini Coker, the study co-author and a RAND Corp. researcher and UCLA pediatrician.

It does not prove that discrimination caused the emotional problems, because unlike studies of older people, these children weren’t followed over time. It’s possible that prejudice harms children’s mental health, but it is also possible that troubled kids prompt more discriminatory remarks from peers or that children with emotional problems perceive more bias, says study leader Mark Schuster, a Harvard pediatrician and pediatrics chief at Children’s Hospital Boston.

i love the ‘troubled kids prompt more discriminatory remarks from peers’.  umm…i think that retaliating against another person by using racist language…is still racism.  i mean … hey linda pinched me so i called her nigger…is still racist.  but i find the construction of the other possible explanations for why children would say they experienced racism.: maybe they are ‘too sensitive’.  or maybe they were ‘too aggressive’.  im just decoding folks.

The link between perceived racism and mental disorders is strong, he adds. For example, Hispanics who report racism are more than three times as likely as other children to have symptoms of depression; blacks are more than twice as likely; and those of “other” minority races have almost quadruple the odds. Rates are also higher for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder.

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May 9, 2009 § 3 Comments

mama: aza please sit down

aza: no

mama: why not?

aza: 14, 7, 2, 9,4

May 9, 2009 § Leave a comment

every day im husslin

every day im husslin

every day im husslin




(re)thinking walking: cairo

May 8, 2009 § 9 Comments

chairs 1

i went for a walk.  through the streets of cairo and i thought about work.  and money.  and expectations.  and love.

cairo is a strange city to me still.  there are so many twists and turns.  and i am horrible with directions.

one of the things i love about cairo is the incredible diversity in this city.  i love the dark skin.  the tank tops girls and the hijabis.  i love the crafts workers and the professional suit wearers.  i love the artists, the intellectuals, the women who sell small packets of tissue while breastfeeding their babies.  the way this city breaks through and reinvents everyones identity.

bike 1

i walked at night.  and took pictures at night.  and the whole time i was thinking about the men who watched this strange girl weaving the streets.  i thought of them because men kept calling out to me.  asking me if i wanted something. to go into their shop. no.  to fuck them. no.  and when i walk at night whether it cairo or chicago i hate the fact that my defenses are up.   that i have to keep looking over my shoulder.  that violence is always a possibility.  because i am a woman.  a black woman. and no matter where i travel.  black woman means hypersexualized.  it means whore.  it means poor.  it means desperate.  it means lack of political/social power.  my us nationality is not visible.  but my african great great great great grandmother is.  and it is obvious to those whom i pass that she had little value and neither do i.

door 1

but i spent most of my conscious mind thinking about work.  i just quit my job.  because i refuse to be a pawn in someone else’s game.

map 1

when i came home habibi told me that there was a vacancy announcement for the position i left a day ago.  the requirement in the announcement? a ba in sociology or international relations or special ed.  had my ex-boss talked to me about why i had left? no.  but now the job that i had done is now listed as a job that i could never apply to.  because i dont have a b.a.

oh yes.  it is a very strong insult.  very effective.  and yet only illuminates why i left.  some folks buy into the status quo.  and yet want to be hailed as radical.

also it was announced as a part-time job.  because ex-boss lady wants to work in the eye of the sun.  and wanted to work there so badly that she undermined nearly every thing i did.  in order to hold onto her popularity and power among her ‘target’ population.  if the communities are our target…then what kind of weapon are we holding?

map 2

as i walked…i wondered what was i expecting in work?  respect? yes.  not ideal respect.  but the basic kind.

map 3

there is beauty in the eye of the sun.  a community on the edge of so many worlds.  i walked and said goodbye to that beauty.  i walked to find my center inside the labyrinth of power taken by not earned.  and i walked to remind myself of what i deserve.  am i your equal?  or am i pawn in your popularity game?  am i pawn?  am i pawn?  no.  we may have money.  we may have privilege.  but whatever good that we do in this world is in spite of our privilege not because of it.  so we must remember that power over corrupts.  and absolute power over corrupts absolutely.

pipe 1

have you seen power corrupt absolutely? i have.  a man died.  over money.

wall 1

yes. and what does it say that we mourn and continue to do the same thing we did before?  we dont need a b.a. to do community organizing.  we need love.

wall 2

i thought about my brother.  who rhymes like god has blessed his tongue.  it is from him that i learned the value of hip hop.  hip hop is powerful.  tupacs legacy is powerful.  the shakur name is powerful.  we are powerful when we create with.  have power with. not power over.  when we understand what the word ‘mama’ means.  it means to love by any means necessary.

wall 3

wall 5

so give me love. give me heart.  give me the goddess.  give me prayers.  give me hip hop.  give me a chant for the ages.  give. me. love.


i am a poet.  i am a an artist. i am the light reflecting through the cage.  and so is my daughter.  and so is the eye of the sun… full moon tonight.  we will create through the fucked up ness into freedom.  my heart is a lamp illuminating the world.  there is nothing left.  but love.  and so i walk through the streets of cairo.  with a camera.  reflecting the light of the world.

on borders and mental health

May 7, 2009 § 1 Comment

check this out at al-falasteeniya

occupation mentality

yes.  that is an excellent visual representation of living inside an occupation.  yes that is what it does to the mind and how one navigates the world. the imprint of the occupation on the brain changing the very perception of how you see the world. its like if you grow up under occupation…the world is a closed off labyrinth.

May 6, 2009 § Leave a comment

mine is not a People of the Book/taxed

but acknowledged; their distinctiveness is

not yet a dignity; their Holocaust is lower case
—judy simmons

May 6, 2009 § Leave a comment

poems are housework

-june jordan

i am growing

May 6, 2009 § Leave a comment

Ana Mendieta Silueta Works

Originally uploaded by BlueMouchette

into myself

May 6, 2009 § Leave a comment

ana mendieta

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