i am hitting…

December 12, 2009 § 13 Comments

depression land.  i try to remind myself that grief is a part of life.  and that some of us have brains and bodies that require that we take down time to mourn and grieve for all the sadness in our life and our world.  it is a necessary ritual of life.  maybe that is what i need.  a ritual for grief, for mourning, and sadness.  what does a grieving ritual look like?  any ideas?


§ 13 Responses to i am hitting…

  • Derek says:

    sorry to hear you’re depressed. hope you feel better soon.

  • k. emvee says:

    Sounds like you need to bless some stuff and let it go. Grief rituals I’ve participated in (or created for myself) have ranged from the very simple (writing my griefs and/or things I want to let go on pieces of paper and burning or burying them like a seed to let them transform) to the much more complex (creating a prayer bundle, dancing or singing my prayers into them over a short or long period of time, and burning it in a fire lit in a sacred way to send them out to the universe).

    Even just something simple you can do once or every day/week to be gentle with yourself and your feelings and acknowledging the sadness of the world could be helpful. A small prayer or chant, lighting a candle, a bit of silent or active meditation.

    I don’t feel like I’m telling you anything you don’t already know. But sometimes taking the time to create ritual around the hard parts of life can make it easier to bear and move through.

    • mama says:

      yes. i think this grief is deep. and part of the problem is that i dont want to celebrate/grieve daily or weekly. like im rushing it in a one-off deal. rather than taking a month to grieve…thinking about this…

  • musingmama says:

    let yourself go down gently with the knowledge that you will rise back up again. let your grief be like an ocean wave that you ride. where i live it is winter which is the season of grief but i’ve felt her cold hands on a robin’s egg blue spring morning. she is always walking with us, a shadow we need to step into from time to time so we can rejoice when the sun shines again. when you are ready to step back into the light you can create a ritual bathing where you let the grief be washed away from you. candles and sage. bath salts and essential oils that. you will know when you are ready. sending strength and love.

  • cicely says:

    i was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, and have been experimenting with new ways to grieve. mostly, when i feel overwhelmed with it, i just loudly make hurt animal noises–no words, just tones and bellows and cries. i do it loud and long and it feels really good. sometimes it sounds so goofy i have to start laughing, but then i go back to the noises. it really works for me.

  • whatsername says:

    I have the Book of Pagan Rituals which has a ritual in it for self-blessing. I transcribed it for a friend who used an altered form of it when she was in need of personal spiritual cleansing because of sadness, grief and feeling generally down on herself. She said it was a good experience for her, and I think this time of year is perfectly charged for it. Would that possibly interest you?

    I’ve seen others, but that’s the one I have at hand. 🙂

    • mama says:

      that would be awesome thank you!

      • whatsername says:

        Sorry I haven’t gotten right back to you, I’ve been away, I’m going to see if my friend still has that on her computer. Get back to you soon, promise. 🙂

      • whatsername says:

        Gah! This took me way too long, I’m sorry. Had to re-transcribe it as my friend hadn’t saved the convo. Hope it’s helpful and you’re feeling better. 🙂

        This ritual should be performed during the new moon, but it is not limited to that phase. Need, not season, determines the performance. There is real power in the Self Blessing; it should not be used other than in a time of need and should not be done promiscuously.
        The purpose of the ritual is to bring the individual into closer contact with the Godhead. It can also be used as a minor dedication, when a person who desires dedication has no one who can dedicate her. This self blessing ritual may also be used as a minor exorcism, to banish any evil influences which may have formed around the person. It may be performed by any person upon herself, and at her desire.
        Perform the ritual in a quiet place, free from distraction, and nude. You will need the following:
        Salt, about one quarter teaspoon.
        Wine, about an ounce.
        Water, about one-half ounce.
        Candle, votive or other.
        The result of the ritual is a feeling of peace and calm. It is desirable that the participant bask in the afterglow so that she may meditate and understand that she has called the attention of the Godhead to herself, asking to grow closer to the Godhead in both goals and wisdom.
        When you are ready to begin, sprinkle the salt on the floor and stand on it, lighting the candle. Let the warmth of the candle be absorbed into the body. Mix the water into the wine, meditating upon your reasons for performing the self-blessing.

        Say aloud:
        Bless me, Mother, for I am Thy child.

        Dip the fingers of the right hand into the mixed water and wine and anoint the eyes,

        Blessed be my eyes, that I may see Thy path.

        Anoint the nose,

        Blessed be my nose, that I may breathe Thy essence.

        Anoint the mouth,

        Blessed be my mouth, that I may speak of Thee.

        Anoint the breast,

        Blessed be my breast, that I may be faithful in Thy works.

        Anoint the loins,

        Blessed be my loins, which bring forth life as Thou has brought forth all creation.

        Anoint the feet,

        Blessed be my feet, that I may walk in Thy ways.

        Remain, and meditate for a while.

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