how many hours

June 8, 2010 § Leave a comment

from my friend bella luna

by Premadasi / Luna

How many hours of the day do you spend
supporting others,
supporting people who suffer,
and I don’t mean your friend
who just broke up with her boyfriend?
How many hours of the day do you spend
supporting a worthy cause,
a fight to stop actions that you are responsible for
and that you fund with your taxes?
How many hours of the day do you spend
supporting the earth,
the land you belong to,
the water you can’t live without?
How many hours of the day do you spend
learning about what your government is doing,
how much more of the forests have been destroyed,
how many children have been forced into sex slavery?
How many hours of the day do you spend learning
about what your particular brand of privilege buys you:
your skin, gender, sexual orientation,
class, nation, creed privilege
How many hours of the day do you spend
growing something with your hands,
cultivating a living thing that cultivates you
and everything around it?
how many hours of the day do you spend
supporting resistance movements,
either as a resistance fighter or a support person?
How many hours a day do you spend
doing what your heart longs for,
what you were born to do?
How many hours a day do you spend
connecting with the beings around you,
with their eyes and hands, their hearts and loves?

This is too long a list. What I am asking is simply this:
How many hours a day do you spend being human?

Or another way of saying it, why are you alive?

Or even another way:
How many hours of the day do you spend
obsessed with your self?
your thoughts, your worries, fears, wants,
hopes, me, me, me, me, meeeeeeeee!
How many hours of the day do you spend distracted,
bored, hating what you do, hating what you are,
hating life itself?
How many hours of the day do you spend
desperately wanting
some other person, other things, other home,
other thoughts, some other life, absolutely anything
other than what you have and are?
How many hours of the day do you spend
spinning in your head,
over and over and over in a haze of your thoughts
about the past, the present, the future,
the story, the why, the argument, what he said,
what she said, what you said,
what he did, what she did, what you did,
what you want, what you don’t want,
why you deserve it, why you don’t deserve it,
why you’re worth nothing,
why you’re the best thing since sliced bread?
How many hours of the day do you spend
wondering why
you’re not happy, why you’ve never been happy,
never will be happy, can’t be happy,
don’t know what happiness is?
How many hours of the day do you spend
blaming others,
for your pain, your problems, your suffering,
what they should have done, what they didn’t do,
what happened to you, what was done to you,
what wasn’t done to you, for you, what you never had,
what you had too much of?
How many hours of the day have served nothing
but your endless desires, complaints, greed,
ignorance, lack of accountability,
consumption, disconnection, alienation,
wallowing in the minutiae
of your “special” brand of misery?
How much of your life have you wasted?

How many hours of the day do you think
you have left to be human?
and what is there to do with those hours
apart from what you’ve done so far?
And when exactly are you going to do it?
When will you be human?

Can we ever again remember what it’s like
to be a human that’s part of a community?
That knows there is no life outside of each other
and the land that we belong to?
That we are not born to be wage slaves
that never touch earth.
How many hours of how many more days
will it take for us to learn/remember
that we are humans who are of sky and stars,
dark soils and deep waters?
How much longer till we live the hours of every day
only to love each other
and the land and creatures that we belong to?
How many hours of the day will it take till we fight and
do whatever we have to do
to protect the land and creatures that we love and
to protect our very humanness before it’s too late?
How many hours of the day will we actually live
while we are alive?
and most important of all,
exactly how many hours do you think
we all have left if we don’t start living as humans
and fighting for all life and the land?

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