caveat

July 5, 2010 § 3 Comments

if you want to have simple, easy, surface, shallow conversations, please don’t turn to me to fulfill that desire.  i surprise myself by my ability to have such conversations, but i will talk about where ever my brain goes.  ana kida.

if you want to hang out with someone who follows the normal bourgeois lines of thinking, again, dont turn to me.  i will probably start talking about human slavery, cultural genocide, or fairies.

if you expect me to be a purist, without contradictions, please look for someone else. because i live someone where between walt whitman’s statement in song of myself:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

and june jordan:
“(June Jordan’s) versatility was allied to her belief that being free meant the freedom to be unpredictable, whether about her own sexuality or about the causes she espoused.”

kthxbai!

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§ 3 Responses to caveat

  • revolutionaryandjoyful says:

    “if you want to have simple, easy, surface, shallow conversations, please don’t turn to me to fulfill that desire. i surprise myself by my ability to have such conversations, but i will talk about where ever my brain goes. ana kida.

    if you want to hang out with someone who follows the normal bourgeois lines of thinking, again, dont turn to me. i will probably start talking about human slavery, cultural genocide, or fairies.”

    I often have these feelings and they push me towards not interacting with people.
    I talked about it in a previous post: http://revolutionaryandjoyful.wordpress.com/2010/06/24/how-does-it-feel/

    How do you manage to talk to people and deal on a regular basis when your mind is often on other things that are more important to you? Or am I looking at it the wrong way?

    • mama says:

      How does it feel to be pulled between being like “everyone else” and following a path that is not promised and possibly dangerous?

      –i am an entertaining outcast. 😉 what i mean is, my way of dealing with fact that i am really, really ‘out there’ is to be straight up honest. kinda blunt, so that folks think im joking when i share my perspective…and im not really joking…
      –and fair. so if i get to ramble on about the evils of industrial civilization for five min’s then you get ramble on about sports or sunglasses for five minutes.
      –if you ask my opinion, i will tell you. but probably i will giggle first and say something like: dude, you dont want my opinion on that…trust me…im like way way out there. i will give you the chance to back out of the question.
      –also, alcohol helps.

      sample convo:
      norm: hey what’s up? nice to meet you/
      me: nice to meet you too. what’s your name?
      norm: norm.
      me: cool, im maia. so where are you from?
      norm: america
      me: oh yeah, im from the states
      norm: so what do you do here?
      me: hiding out from the cia. what do you do here?
      norm: that’s funny.
      me: yeah, the cia is hilarious.
      norm: youre kidding right?
      me: not really, i figure this since cairo is like training ground for the cia in mid east. i would just try the hide in plain sight thing. its working so far
      norm: riiiiight….uh…no really what do you do here?
      me: im an abortionist. what do you do here?
      norm: uh. cool. i work for xyz.
      me: oh cool. yeah what do you do there…?
      norm: wait did you say you were an abortionist?
      me: yeah. but so is very menstruating person if you think about it.
      norm: uh. what?
      me: i mean that’s all an abortion is…getting the blood flowing again…
      norm: uh…not exactly, i mean…
      me: ok, you are a guy and you are going to tell me what an abortion is? really? how many have you had?
      norm: uhhh…
      me: so what do you at xyz? do you like working there?
      and so it goes…

      see…that’s how i deal with it…
      how do you deal with it?

      • revolutionaryandjoyful says:

        lol at the conversation between you and norm. I guess I could describe myself as an entertaining outcast. I can make people laugh pretty easily and get along with them pretty well. I just find topics most people want talk about inane and boring. “No I haven’t seen the latest blockbuster movie with Will Smith or that deep indie flick with Scarlett Johannson.”

        Like you I will answer truthfully when questioned about my beliefs but I will tweak the answer depending on the audience.

        I don’t drink so I’m sure that doesn’t help.

        And I don’t particularly like bringing up the evils of industtrial civilization because I tend to get either one of two reactions. 1. people get defensive. 2. people feel guilty but don’t feel led to do anything. And guilt without action is both useless and annoying to me.

        I also find that the more I get to know people their biggest goals in life tend to equal getting married, going to college, having a family, and living a happy life. Maybe with some world travel thrown in somewhere. As someone who is deeply touched by all the different issues in the world, hearing someone say that causes me to instantly lose respect for them and put them in the “you’re like everybody else” pile. I’ve tried accepting people for who they are but so far it hasn’t worked. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough and/or the right way.

        So to actually answer your question I guess I deal by avoiding most social situations and coming out whenever I feel a strong need for human interaction. I also live with housemates so that keeps me from becoming too much of a loner which I think is healthy for someone like me and keeps me from slipping into complete misanthropy.

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