eternity

September 17, 2010 § 2 Comments

they are just afraid of our wild freedom.

they are afraid that the burning feels better than just basking in the light.

they are afraid that the poets are right, that we are the light, that the light never dies.

they are afraid so they turn away and talk to each other about easier things.

——

grew up being told that i was too intense.  i felt things too much.  i argued too passionately.  i dreamed too big and too far away.

i have learned not to care too much about what other people think of me and my choices.  this learning is about the difference between short term and long term goals.  in the short team it is easier to care, to get angry, to try to fix it, to try to convince other people they are wrong, to make the world more comfortable for me to walk through.  but that only gives me a momentary pleasure, satiation and then the cycle starts again.

in the long term, lets say eternity, i have to burn bright no matter what.  my job is to get more intense, not less.  i want to burn so bright that people come up to me with their black wick candles and light them by my fire.

—–

people get upset when they throw water or a big wooden board or whatever they’ve got laying around in their psyches, when they throw what they got on my fire and it doesnt dampen it, it doesnt smother it.  i just burn it up and keep burning.

they look at me betrayed.   like, how dare i burn so bright?  dont i know my place?  how dare i burn up their shit that they threw at me.  how dare i destroy their stuff?  dont i know they were just doing what was best for me?  i mean if i keep burning like this, i will destroy the social order.  and then where will we all be?

well, when the social order is burnt alive,  ill still be burning.  and they will be surrounded by their shit.

so thanks for the fuel.

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