ive got queer dreams

September 17, 2010 § Leave a comment

1. the curvature writes a kick ass piece on the relationship between birth rape denialism and feminism.

But even questions of technical definitions and what exactly it is that we wish to eradicate in fighting this thing called “rape” aside, I do know one thing for sure. When women come forward and start saying “I was raped,” when they find the power to use that word to describe their own experiences and open up to share their trauma with the world, responding with “no you weren’t” — with whole blog posts about the subject, in fact — is about the worst possible way that a person can do feminism.

And doing feminism this way has consequences, just like using feminism oppressively always has. As far as consequences go, I don’t care whether or not it “turns people away” from the “movement,” frankly — after all, if this is what they hope to encounter upon sticking around, I think that they deserve fair warning, and I can’t exactly blame them for wanting no part. What I care about is the pain and the harm that it causes. What I care about is the fact that if, after years of struggling to finally claim the word “rape” for my own experiences, someone had immediately responded to me in this way with something about how calling myself a rape survivor was insulting to real survivors or harming their activism, I just might have died. Literally.

2. you ever have those moments in your poly queer life when you realize that people think that you dont have sexual ethics, because you dont have the same ones as they do?  like folks fear the unpredictable?  i never read that book, the ethical slut, but there are days when i dream of being around folks who just assume that you are queer unless told otherwise.  although i find it funny when folks wont just come out and ask you.  maybe i should make tshirts.

3. like when someone knows you are an atheist, and act like you are condemning your child to everlasting hell because you didnt teach her that ‘god loves her’.  i dont care if you tell that god loves her.  its weird when folks talk to my daughter about god, but arent willing to talk to me about god or religion or theology.  like, what are you so afraid of?

4.  i am so grateful for my friends.  honestly we know the coolest people.  quirky alive and and pure hearts.

5. it is early morning and aza and habibi are sleeping.  each on a couch.  i am in the living room, at the table, next to the television, typing.   ive got early morning dreams.  dreams of gaza, of dancing, of sitting by the sea and writing poetry for hours and months.  dreams of telling the truth no matter what.  dreams of black and white photographs still wet.  dreams of watching life into this world and leave this world.  dreams of good food, good music, and good laughter.  queer queer dreams.

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