sheep truck

sheep truck

Originally uploaded by primitivedragonfly

ah the sheep. i didnt really write much about eid al adha. probably because i kind of felt bad for the sheep. i have never been in the middle east when the sacrifice eid happened. for a couple of weeks before the eid the sheep were everywhere. sheep in the market, outside the mosques, wandering in front of stores. on the morning of eid i saw a sheep outside my window. he was standing on a pile of garbage [because that is what our dining window faces...] just this one sheep. alone. i wanted to yell…run! sheep! run!
sheep blood in the streets. sheep bones piled up on corners. pelts of sheep sunning on the sidewalk. flies congregating for the feast.
im not sure why i have such a visceral reaction to the animal sacrifice. frankly, i love easter. the god being sacrificed. the rent of the tabernacle. the re imagining of history. the blood. the descent to hell. i love the paganness of it. mary magdalene waiting at the empty tomb. mary magdalene being the first to spread the good word that the god lives.
i tried to bring that same love of sacrificial ecstasy to eid al adha. but this eid is a different beast.
maybe next year i will watch the sheep’s neck being sliced and then eat the meat. i felt like i was standing too far outside of the celebration to feel anything more than sorrow for the sheep. and a bodily revulsion toward the dead sheep carcasses and midnight colored flies.

cal 1

cal 1

Originally uploaded by primitivedragonfly

door 1

door 1

Originally uploaded by primitivedragonfly

tunnel

tunnel

Originally uploaded by primitivedragonfly

sheep 3

sheep 3

Originally uploaded by primitivedragonfly

sheep

sheep

Originally uploaded by primitivedragonfly

old man

old man

Originally uploaded by primitivedragonfly

a man at an little qahwe watching the egypt vs. algeria game. egypt lost. it was a noisy night.
this was the second game. the first game between egypt and algeria basically ended in a tie. and the next day aza came home from school with an egyptian paper flag.
this time, when egypt lost. there was no flag.

i feel about a lap about how i feel about a front porch

1. a little history.  interview and honoring of anna grier, a black southern traditional midwife.  she has passed but she is here.  god whenever i hear the little sneer in someone’s voice about me being a birth worker.  the little — oh that’s *cute*.  like not really radical or activist-y or hardcore or whateva.  i remember that i have known no one more hardcore than black southern women.

2. lap, aprons, and black pots.  my grandmother and mother has all three of these.  yes.  there is something elegantly black south about that trio.  sweet tea.  church ushers in white gloves.  funeral home paper fans.  sandy roads.  and red rock soda.

does anyone know what i am talking about?

3. tonight i miss the south.  met a girl today from atl.  i started missing the scent of home.

4. its hard to explain.  but i havent been in the same room with a usa rwoc for over a year.  its like forgetting what your reflection looks like.

5. i wrote this zine a month before allied media conference this year.  my plan was to send it to the conference.  of course i didnt for a million little distractions.  its about trans nationalism, women of color, homesickness, home, building community, and making connections across man made borders…you know the shite i write about.

there is a line in it that says: i dont need to tell you what it means to live in a police state.  it feels like being a woman of color in the states.

you on me.

you and me eve
we can be the first no
the you-boys-can-go-fuck-yourself
the middle finger to thin-lipped figures
on the sidewalk as we twist our hips
and make them cry

we can demand to be satisfied
refuse to be the duitiful daughters
on our knees

don’t smile when we ain’t happy
nod when we don’t agree
no more
that ain’t got to be we

we can be a blues song
on a moonless night
when everything ain’t close to right
and drink hard liquor in hard bars
like old vets wailing out stories
of hell fire, brimstone,
and childhood’s blood-soaked dreams
laughing full belly

we can be greater than gods

let the blinders fall
and carry each other’s shadows
our backs to the sun

let me pluck you like a golden apple
peel away your skin
and eat until i make you scream

we can be
the last word

free.

umami on the cheap

just thinking about how i ate vegan/raw vegan for a year with very very little money (living off donations) in a warehouse with no kitchen.  and all we had was a camping stove.  and a coffeemaker.  we could boil water.

part of the reason that i was eating vegan.  was because it was less expensive for me.  since i didnt have a stove or an oven.  plus i dont like meat.  and meat and dairy products are really hard for me to digest.

and i love tasty food.  it needs to have flavor.  onions, garlic, ginger, pepper. im a southern girl.  i like it spicy. i love umami.

and there was no grocery store nearby.  the nearest ones were a couple of miles away and i didnt have a car.  so i had to walk it when i could.  that was easier in the warm weather.  but in the winter when the snow would blanket the sidewalks, there were plenty of times i just couldnt hike it.

so the closest stores were convenience stores in our working class neighborhood.  lots of chips and cookies and sodas.

so anyways, this morning as i was drinking my tea i was thinking about what did i eat back then?

(i am a grazer.  and i dont think in terms of ‘meals’ just in terms of ‘im hungry.  what is there to eat right now?’ so nuts, fruit, and crackers are a mainstay.

and i dont like soup.  cannot get into eating salty water.)

so whenever i could make it out to a grocery store.  like when someone would give me a ride, or let me borrow their car, or it was a nice enough day to walk to it.  this is what i stocked up on:

the staples

rice (i dont like ramen or most store bought pastas.  so rice was good for me.  you buy it in bulk. it lasts a long time.  and if guests stop by you can always just make some more rice.  brown rice is super good for you but takes much longer to boil.  so often i just went with white rice. )

couscous  (coucous can be used to make savory or sweet dishes.  in the morning i would make a hot cereal with it-see below- and in the evening i would chop up fresh veggies and mix it with some cooked couscous, olive oil, soy sauce and spices.)

onions

soy sauce or braggs amino acids

potatoes

dried lentils

dried red beans

dried black beans

black pepper

salt

apples

garlic

dried cinnamon

ginger